diff --git a/README.md b/README.md index 8b46c69..927bcbe 100644 --- a/README.md +++ b/README.md @@ -1,4 +1,5 @@ + English | [简体中文](./README.zh-CN.md) # Hacker Scripts @@ -6,19 +7,19 @@ English | [简体中文](./README.zh-CN.md) Based on a _[true story](https://www.jitbit.com/alexblog/249-now-thats-what-i-call-a-hacker/)_: -> xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. +> xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. > xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" > xxx: You're gonna love this -> xxx: [`smack-my-bitch-up.sh`](https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/smack-my-bitch-up.sh) - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. +> xxx: [`smack-my-bitch-up.sh`](https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/smack-my-bitch-up.sh) - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9 pm with his login. -> xxx: [`kumar-asshole.sh`](https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/kumar-asshole.sh) - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". +> xxx: [`kumar-asshole.sh`](https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/kumar-asshole.sh) - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the client's server and roll back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". -> xxx: [`hangover.sh`](https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/hangover.sh) - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. +> xxx: [`hangover.sh`](https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/hangover.sh) - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45 am. -> xxx: (and the oscar goes to) [`fucking-coffee.sh`](https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/fucking-coffee.sh) - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like `sys brew`. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. +> xxx: (and the oscar goes to) [`fucking-coffee.sh`](https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/fucking-coffee.sh) - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs Linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like `sys brew`. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. > xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those @@ -40,23 +41,23 @@ GMAIL_PASSWORD=password ``` For Ruby scripts you need to install gems: -`gem install dotenv twilio-ruby gmail` +`gem install dotenv Twilio-ruby Gmail` ## Cron jobs ```sh -# Runs `smack-my-bitch-up.sh` monday to friday at 9:20 pm. +# Runs `smack-my-bitch-up.sh` Monday to Friday at 9:20 pm. 20 21 * * 1-5 /path/to/scripts/smack-my-bitch-up.sh >> /path/to/smack-my-bitch-up.log 2>&1 -# Runs `hangover.sh` monday to friday at 8:45 am. +# Runs `hangover.sh` Monday to Friday at 8:45 am. 45 8 * * 1-5 /path/to/scripts/hangover.sh >> /path/to/hangover.log 2>&1 # Runs `kumar-asshole.sh` every 10 minutes. */10 * * * * /path/to/scripts/kumar-asshole.sh -# Runs `fucking-coffee.sh` hourly from 9am to 6pm on weekdays. +# Runs `fucking-coffee.sh` hourly from 9 am to 6 pm on weekdays. 0 9-18 * * 1-5 /path/to/scripts/fucking-coffee.sh ``` --- -Code is released under WTFPL. +The code is released under WTFPL.