diff --git a/people/mikaela_khara/info.yml b/people/mikaela_khara/info.yml new file mode 100644 index 00000000..b6a98a28 --- /dev/null +++ b/people/mikaela_khara/info.yml @@ -0,0 +1,8 @@ +id: mikaela_khara +profileUrl: ${path}/photos/profile.png +info: + born: '2007-04-02' + died: '2023-10-15' +websites: + twitter: https://twitter.com/mikaela_khara + github: https://github.com/mikaela-khara diff --git a/people/mikaela_khara/page.en.md b/people/mikaela_khara/page.en.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..954020e5 --- /dev/null +++ b/people/mikaela_khara/page.en.md @@ -0,0 +1,189 @@ +--- +name: Mikaela Khara +info: + alias: Mika + location: Beijing, China +--- + + +> "Immersed in love and being loved..." + +When it comes to the wounds caused by love, Mika must be mentioned. + +> "But after meeting Spring Khara, I realized how happy it is to have someone with me." +> +> "But now I have to lose her..." +> +> "I don't want to go on alone anymore." +> +> "Being alone is painful, and I can't see hope." +> +> "𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷, are you there?" +> +> "Can I give you my Twitter account password?" +> +> "It's somewhat bitter..." +> +> "Spring is leaving for Japan, maybe she's boarding the plane now. Tell her I love her." +> +> "I bought some ice cream. When my stomach starts to ache, I'll eat some to suppress it." +> +> "It won't be painful. It won't." + + + +Mikaela Khara, also known as Mika, +was a 16-year-old trans girl from Beijing. + +She was a top student who attended a special class in a Beijing high school, and her family was fairly well-off. + +She enjoyed playing *Dead by Daylight* and researching network engineering. +Many people were willing to engage with her; +she had a wide range of hobbies, +and she gave off a very reliable "big sister" vibe. +Of course, she was indeed older than me. +But the reliability I once thought she had was just a feeling after all... + +She had a sense of humor, +was very caring towards others, +but also struggled with gender identity and inner struggle. +She showed a lively side of herself, +but upon closer observation, +she revealed a deep awareness of her own situation. + +## First Meeting + +I first met Mika on the night of July 31st, 2023. +Her intention was clear —— +she wanted to "ship" me and Jing Jiangbie as a couple. + +Later on, I learned that she was in a relationship with Spring Khara. +Even though they hadn't been together long, +I could tell from their conversations that they deeply loved each other. +At that time, she was one of my "little bells[^1]" as I often saw her and Spring flaunting their affection for each other. + +Through our chats, +I began to realize that Mika’s family likely offered little emotional support. +She was longed for love and companionship and tended to become emotionally dependent on others. +About half a month later, +the four of us created a small group chat. +Almost every night, we’d make calls together, +and sometimes we’d watch Mika play Dead by Daylight in the voice channel. + +I regret never watching Mika play. +Unfortunately, I was busy researching ways to earn money to prepare for my own independence and financial needs. + +## The Breaking Point + +Money was precisely the breaking point for Mika’s despair. + +In late August, she tried coming out but ended up facing serious opposition. +What started as a typical situation—family conflict, +her parents not wanting her to undergo hormone replacement therapy (HRT). +So Mika running away from home only to be brought back by the police—ended in conflict resolution at the local police station. + +That was originally just a typical thing. + +That night, Mika, Spring and I discussed her family conflicts and provided her with psychological support. + +Spring realized she had an untouched ¥20,000 (~$2,800, 2023-09) that her family didn’t know about and asked me for advice on how to invest it. + +The two of them had a simple plan: escape together. +The next day, they opened a joint account at China Merchants Bank (CMB). + +Once they had money, they began indulging in high expenses frequently, posting on Twitter about their luxurious dates. + +... + +By September, I started noticing cracks in their relationship due to their financial strain and Mika's dependency on Spring. + +Later, I found out that Mika sought out [Yemaomao](https://twitter.com/cmtfdd) for companionship, +and what happened during that time was something Spring found hard to accept. + +Mika simply wanted to escape because she couldn't bear her family’s constraints on her gender identity. + +... + +From September 21st to October 4th, +Mika and Spring were in a toxic relationship. +Mika used Spring’s last bit of money to buy a box of Progynon Depot, +but she barely took a few shots in the end. + +Mika mostly wanted to be loved and cared for, +trying her best to please others. +However, her circumstances trapped her, +making her love seem pathological to Spring, +though it was still genuine. + +## From Xiawafang to Tianjin Eye + +On October 15th, Mika suddenly contacted me, +asking if I could take over her Twitter account. +I was on my way to Tianjin Library but suddenly realized something was wrong. +Huai An (𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷's classmate in high school) and I decided to get off at XIAWAFANG Station[^2] and call the police to save Mika. +Before leaving the station, I briefly called Mika, trying to calm her down. + +"It’s no use. I’ve locked the door from the inside." +"Tell Spring I love her very much." + +Those were Mika’s last words, and at that moment, I felt utterly powerless. + +> (To be continued...) + +## Epilogue + +Mika’s story includes many aspects that I can’t openly share, +such as details about her family, friends. +And those close to her advised me to keep certain things private. +So I can only write up to this point. + +One night, in a group chat, I was on a call with Mika. + +"𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷, I really want to contribute to the community." + +"I want to help many people like me survive." + +"But my situation and environment make it difficult." + +"If there’s a chance, maybe in the future, I’ll start a company with the name XiaoYaoNiang(XYN)." + +"I think those sisters who run shelters are really amazing." + +"If I could one day be like them, able to help others…" + +"That would be so wonderful." + +This is the origin of XYN (Tianjin) Technology. + +Excerpt from: [𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷](https://twitter.com/ryq59)'s Chronicle Issue No.33, 2023 + +[^1]: "Little bells" originally refers to the notification feature on Twitter that alerts users when someone they follow posts a tweet. Users can choose to enable or disable these notifications for specific accounts. Here, 'Little Bell' refers to 𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷 enabling notifications for certain mutual followers (mutuals) to ensure she could promptly like their posts. At that time, 𝓠𝓾𝓪𝓷 maintained such interactions with around 300 mutuals. + +[^2]: XIAWAFANG Station is an interchange station between Lines 1 and 5 of the Tianjin Rail Transit. Heading south from this station leads to WENHUAZHONGXIN (Cultural Centre) Station, where the Tianjin Library (Cultural Centre Branch) is located." + + + + + + + + diff --git a/people/mikaela_khara/page.md b/people/mikaela_khara/page.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..965ad2e2 --- /dev/null +++ b/people/mikaela_khara/page.md @@ -0,0 +1,140 @@ +--- +name: Mikaela Khara +info: + alias: Mika + location: 中国北京 +--- + +> 沉溺于爱与被爱…… + +那么提到爱情伤人的话 是有必要提及 Mika 的。 + +
+
+ + + +Mikaela Khara,16 岁,北京人。 + +她是个学霸,曾就读于北京某高中的特殊班,家境还算不错。 + +喜欢玩黎明杀机,研究网络工程。 + +愿意与她交流的人很多,她的兴趣爱好也特别广泛,给人一种非常可靠的大姐姐的感觉,当然,她也确实比我大。 + +但当时我认为的可靠,也只是感觉罢了…… + +Mika 给人的印象嘛……带着一种幽默感,而且很会关怀他人,但也在性别认同上经历着困难和内心挣扎。 + +她既展现了活泼的一面,但稍加发现,她又流露出了对自己处境的清醒认知。 + +## 初识 + +我与 Mika 初识于 23 年 7 月的最后一天晚上,她的意愿很明确,想磕我和江别的 CP。 + +再后来,我才知道她是泉的恋人。即便在一起没多久,也在和她们的交流中得知两个人彼此非常爱对方。她当时是我的小铃铛[^1]之一,我总能看到她与泉两个人秀恩爱。 + +我和她交谈的时候也逐渐意识到: + +Mika 的家庭,在精神需求上的帮助很可能是枯竭的。 + +她很缺爱,很缺人陪伴,会很滥情。 + +大概隔了半个来月,我们四个人单独建了个小群。几乎每晚都会在一起打电话,有时候也会在语音室看着 Mika 玩杀机。 + +我很后悔从未看过 Mika 玩,很可惜我当时在研究各种赚钱的路子,来为自己的糖和独立出来的资金做准备。 + +## 导火索 + +而钱,正是 Mika 绝望的导火索。 + +8 月下旬的某天,Mika 炸柜了。 + +原本只是非常正常的一件事情:家庭矛盾,家长不想让孩子 HRT,然后 Mika 离家出走结果被报警抓回来,最后在派出所协商调解矛盾。 + +很正常的一件事情。 + +当晚,我和泉,还有 Mika 在讨论她家的矛盾,给她心理疏导。 + +泉发现自己有一直没用过,家里也不知道的两万块钱,在问我有没有什么吃利息的方法。 + +她们两个当时想法非常纯粹,就是一起逃出来。转天他们两个就去 CMB 开了个户。 + +自从有了钱后,她们两个人经常性地高消费,在推上也发过推文,比如比较高档的约会之类的。 + +…… + +时间来到 9 月份 + +因为长期的高消费与单向感情依赖,我初步观测到她们两个人即便是亲密关系,但也出现了些裂痕。 + +后来我才知道,Mika 去找了夜猫猫,而期间发生的事情令泉觉得难以接受。 + +但 Mika 只是想逃出来,受不了家里对她性别认同上的束缚。 + +…… + +从 9.21 至 10.4 这段时间,Mika 与泉处在一个不健康的关系中 + +泉最后的一点钱也被 Mika 买了盒日雌……结果也没打几针。 + +Mika 更多是想要被爱,被关照,所以尽可能讨好别人,但因为自身条件被束缚住,以至于她的爱对于泉是病态的,但也是真心的。 + +## 从下瓦房到天眼 + +10 月 15 日,Mika 突然找到我,问我能否接管她的 Twitter 账号。 + +我在去天图的路上,但突然意识到不对劲,我和怀安老师一致决定在下瓦房[^2]下车,报警去救 Mika。 + +出站之前,我和 Mika 短暂的打过电话,想着尽可能稳住她的情绪 不要上头 + +「没用的,我把门反锁了」 + +「告诉泉泉我很爱她」 + +这是 Mika 的遗言,而我当时真的很无力。 + +>(未完待续……) + +## 后记 + +Mika 的故事,有很多我没有办法直接拿出来讲。 + +包括家庭、朋友…… + +以及某些身边人的意见都是,建议我很多东西不要公开来写。 + +于是我只能写到了这里。 + +某天晚上 + +我在群聊里和 Mika 的电话 + +「铨铨,其实咱很想为社群出一份力」 + +「咱想帮助很多同类活下去」 + +「但是咱的状态以及环境真的很难做到」 + +「如果有机会呢,未来我也许会开一家公司,就以小药娘做字号」 + +「我看到那些开避难所的姐姐们真的很伟大」 + +「要是我有一天能像她们一样 能帮上大家」 + +「那样的话该多好捏」 + +这是小药娘网络科技的雏形 + +节选自[铨](https://twitter.com/ryq59)茗居 星留阁 星痕志 2023 第三十三号 + +[^1]: 「小铃铛」原指 Twitter 用户发送推文的通知推送功能,用户可以自行选择对自己跟随的用户打开或关闭。这里的「小铃铛」则是指铨在对一些互 fo 打开通知提醒来保证及时给自己的互 fo 点赞的行为,铨当时对自己大约 300 多位的互 fo 有这样的互动。 + +[^2]: 下瓦房站是天津地铁 1 号线与 5 号线的换乘站,从此处往南可到达文化中心站,天津图书馆(文化中心馆)即坐落于此。 diff --git a/people/mikaela_khara/page.zh_hant.md b/people/mikaela_khara/page.zh_hant.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..2905572b --- /dev/null +++ b/people/mikaela_khara/page.zh_hant.md @@ -0,0 +1,140 @@ +--- +name: Mikaela Khara +info: + alias: Mika + location: 中國北京 +--- + +> 沉溺於愛與被愛…… + +那麼提到愛情傷人的話 是有必要提及 Mika 的。 + +
+
+ + + +Mikaela Khara,16 歲,北京人。 + +她是個學霸,曾就讀于北京某高中的特殊班,家境還算不錯。 + +喜歡玩黎明死線,研究網路工程。 + +願意與她交流的人很多,她的興趣愛好也特別廣泛,給人一種非常可靠的大姐姐的感覺,當然,她也確實比我大。 + +但當時我認為的可靠,也只是感覺罷了…… + +Mika 給人的印象嘛……帶著一種幽默感,而且很會關懷他人,但也在性別認同上經歷著困難和內心掙扎。 + +她既展現了活潑的一面,但稍加發現,她又流露出了對自己處境的清醒認知。 + +## 初識 + +我與 Mika 初識於 23 年 7 月的最後一天晚上,她的意願很明確,想磕我和江別的 CP。 + +再後來,我才知道她是泉的戀人。即便在一起沒多久,也在和她們的交流中得知兩個人彼此非常愛對方。她當時是我的小鈴鐺[^1]之一,我總能看到她與泉兩個人秀恩愛。 + +我和她交談的時候也逐漸意識到: + +Mika 的家庭,在精神需求上的幫助很可能是枯竭的。 + +她很缺愛,很缺人陪伴,會很濫情。 + +大概隔了半個來月,我們四個人單獨建了個小群。幾乎每晚都會在一起打電話,有時候也會在語音室看著 Mika 玩黎明死線。 + +我很後悔從未看過 Mika 玩,很可惜我當時在研究各種賺錢的路子,來為自己的糖和獨立出來的資金做準備。 + +## 導火索 + +而錢,正是 Mika 絕望的導火索。 + +8 月下旬的某天,Mika 炸櫃了。 + +原本只是非常正常的一件事情:家庭矛盾,家長不想讓孩子 HRT,然後 Mika 離家出走結果被報警抓回來,最後在派出所協商調解矛盾。 + +很正常的一件事情。 + +當晚,我和泉,還有 Mika 在討論她家的矛盾,給她心理疏導。 + +泉發現自己有一直沒用過,家裡也不知道的兩萬塊錢,在問我有沒有什麼吃利息的方法。 + +她們兩個當時想法非常純粹,就是一起逃出來。轉天他們兩個就去 CMB 開了個戶。 + +自從有了錢後,她們兩個人經常性地高消費,在推上也發過推文,比如比較高檔的約會之類的。 + +…… + +時間來到 9 月份 + +因為長期的高消費與單向感情依賴,我初步觀測到她們兩個人即便是親密關係,但也出現了些裂痕。 + +後來我才知道,Mika 去找了夜貓貓,而期間發生的事情令泉覺得難以接受。 + +但 Mika 只是想逃出來,受不了家裡對她性別認同上的束縛。 + +…… + +從 9.21 至 10.4 這段時間,Mika 與泉處在一個不健康的關係中 + +泉最後的一點錢也被 Mika 買了盒日雌……結果也沒打幾針。 + +Mika 更多是想要被愛,被關照,所以盡可能討好別人,但因為自身條件被束縛住,以至於她的愛對於泉是病態的,但也是真心的。 + +## 從下瓦房到天眼 + +10 月 15 日,Mika 突然找到我,問我能否接管她的 Twitter 帳號。 + +我在去天圖的路上,但突然意識到不對勁,我和懷安老師一致決定在下瓦房[^2]下車,報警去救 Mika。 + +出站之前,我和 Mika 短暫的打過電話,想著盡可能穩住她的情緒 不要上頭 + +「沒用的,我把門反鎖了」 + +「告訴泉泉我很愛她」 + +這是 Mika 的遺言,而我當時真的很無力。 + +>(未完待續……) + +## 後記 + +Mika 的故事,有很多我沒有辦法直接拿出來講。 + +包括家庭、朋友…… + +以及某些身邊人的意見都是,建議我很多東西不要公開來寫。 + +於是我只能寫到了這裡。 + +某天晚上 + +我在群聊裡和 Mika 的電話 + +「銓銓,其實咱很想為社群出一份力」 + +「咱想幫助很多同類活下去」 + +「但是咱的狀態以及環境真的很難做到」 + +「如果有機會呢,未來我也許會開一家公司,就以小藥娘做字型大小」 + +「我看到那些開避難所的姐姐們真的很偉大」 + +「要是我有一天能像她們一樣 能幫上大家」 + +「那樣的話該多好捏」 + +這是小藥娘網路科技的雛形 + +節選自[銓](https://twitter.com/ryq59)茗居 星留閣 星痕志 2023 第三十三號 + +[^1]: 「小鈴鐺」原指 Twitter 用戶發送推文的通知推送功能,用戶可以自行選擇對自己跟隨的用戶打開或關閉。這裡的「小鈴鐺」則是指銓在對一些互 fo 打開通知提醒來保證及時給自己的互 fo 點贊的行為,銓當時對自己大約 300 多位的互 fo 有這樣的互動。 + +[^2]: 下瓦房站是天津地鐵 1 號線與 5 號線的換乘站,從此處往南可到達文化中心站,天津圖書館(文化中心館)即坐落於此。 diff --git a/people/mikaela_khara/photos/photo1.png b/people/mikaela_khara/photos/photo1.png new file mode 100644 index 00000000..e06a1461 Binary files /dev/null and b/people/mikaela_khara/photos/photo1.png differ diff --git a/people/mikaela_khara/photos/profile.png b/people/mikaela_khara/photos/profile.png new file mode 100644 index 00000000..70434951 Binary files /dev/null and b/people/mikaela_khara/photos/profile.png differ