update CockroachDB to v22.1.9

[davepacheco]

See oxidecomputer/garbage-compactor#5. This change uses that new build in Omicron. This updates to CockroachDB v22.1.9 using Go 1.17.13. It also makes it a "stdmalloc" build, meaning it uses the system memory allocator rather than the default jemalloc. It also means we can override this to use libumem at runtime if we want.

We're still seeing issues like #1223 -- see #1223 (comment). If the problem is not worse, I'd like to proceed anyway (since we were seeing these issues before). I can't yet tell if it's worse. (Another option would be to land this if it seems at least not totally broken, and then revert if folks run into more frequent problems.)

[davepacheco]

This is ready for review. I think the only question is whether the new build is more likely to run into the various issues like #1223. I don't think we know yet. My bias is towards landing this and getting some miles on the latest version, and if we start seeing too many test flakes because of it, then we can revert this.

[smklein]

This is ready for review. I think the only question is whether the new build is more likely to run into the various issues like #1223. I don't think we know yet. My bias is towards landing this and getting some miles on the latest version, and if we start seeing too many test flakes because of it, then we can revert this.

Yeah, it seems fine to roll forward, and anything that gives us more control over the allocator seems like a win. #1223 seems gnarly.