lightning: check peers write stall when switch-mode is disabled (#40228)

[lance6716]

What problem does this PR solve?

Issue Number: ref #40163

Problem Summary:

What is changed and how it works?

Manually cherry-pick #40228 and #42855

Check List

Tests

• Unit test
• Integration test
• Manual test (add detailed scripts or steps below)
• No code

Side effects

• Performance regression: Consumes more CPU
• Performance regression: Consumes more Memory
• Breaking backward compatibility

Documentation

• Affects user behaviors
• Contains syntax changes
• Contains variable changes
• Contains experimental features
• Changes MySQL compatibility

Release note

Please refer to Release Notes Language Style Guide to write a quality release note.

None

[ti-chi-bot]

[REVIEW NOTIFICATION]

This pull request has been approved by:

• Benjamin2037
• tangenta

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[Benjamin2037]

LGTM

[lance6716]

/merge

[ti-chi-bot]

This pull request has been accepted and is ready to merge.

Commit hash: bbf1cf1

[lance6716]

/retest

[lance6716]

/retest

[ti-chi-bot]

@lance6716: The following test failed, say /retest to rerun all failed tests or /retest-required to rerun all mandatory failed tests:

Test name	Commit	Details	Required	Rerun command
idc-jenkins-ci-tidb/unit-test	bbf1cf1	link	unknown	/test unit-test

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