Once upon a time there was a yummy hot sauce that you could buy in stores. It was just hot enough to be interesting, but not so hot you couldn't load things up and get a lot of flavor. Then evil came to the land and you could no longer buy this hot sauce in stores.
Fear not, brave readers, for this story has a happy ending. Alchemy and other Ancient Practices have been able to produce a new sauce, which is even better than the vanished sauce. This new sauce is called "Number Six", because it is the seventh variation on the original recipe, and computer programmers like to count starting at zero.
This sauce is not for sale. The recipe is right here, feel free to make your own. Or you can wait until the next time I make a batch, and get one in a bottle with a label of great goodness.
I am always looking for excuses to use the hot sauce. Here is a short list of things the sauce makes better:
Soup, Gravy, Stew, Meatloaf, Turkey Sandwich, Quesadilla, Eggs, Potatoes,
Guacamole, Beans, Mixed with mayonnaise for Artichoke Sauce
For the sake of honesty, here is the list of things which the sauce does not make better:
Vanilla Ice Cream, American Politics
The best secrets are the one you tell everyone, every chance you get. This sauce is meant to be that kind of secret, which is why there is a recipe printed on the label. To be clear, the sauce which matches that recipe is very good, people have wept with joy as they ate food items enhanced with that sauce. However, I am always working on making the recipe better. The version here is much better than the version on the bottle.
There is a possibility that making this sauce requires a +3 blender of science. I have to push my Vitamix pretty hard to take the sauce from "ground up parts with chili sauce aspirations" to actual sauce consistency.
I also have to acknowledge that this is essentially my version of a recipe you can find all over the internet, because it was first published by Rick Bayless. I started there, but Number Six is better, in my not so humble opinion.
WARNING: When de-seeding the large pile of chili pods, or running the blender for the larger amount of sauce, you will be exposing yourself to a significant amount chili vapors. Wearing latex gloves makes the de-seeding easier, and makes it less likely you will give yourself an unpleasant chili rub in the eyesocket, and running a fan or other ventilation strategies is a really good idea.
In this directory you will find the small test-batch sized recipe, and the scaled up to fill a blender recipe,