| title | description |
|---|---|
Yiruisms |
Yiru sometimes says very funny or insightful things, and I want to jot them down to remember. |
Oh my lady gaga!
i was really high. We were 60 feet above sea level
Yiru called me a motherfucker after I painted a mountain before her in bob ross
I think our neighbor is a prostitute. Alarm at 3am. Thats when he goes to work.
Caught a parson spider crawling on the wall. kept it in a box for several days Caught a yellow spider above the bed in a cup. Yiru put them in the same cup thinking they could be friends or have sex. The yellow one darted around, in and out. The black one raised its arms menacingly. Yellow struck, got hit by poison, erratic for a moment and then died. Yiru was heartbroken.
I hate this. Good movies dont get sequels while Marvel is out of story and they just squeeze their butthole as hard as they can to make new movies.
Thinks people talking about black lives matter dont really care because if they did they would be black. It's possible with todays technology to make tourself black
She lokescto fall asleep holding gmas boob Maybe chinese baby is slut. Eat one play with the other
If you get fat I will be very happy. That means I am a qualified pig farm
Called doraemon dingdong mao Gollum goblin goblo gochi berri gobi
Somehow seahorse is dragon. They got punished by the jade god and became worms in the ocean.
White horse princess.
When you put your hand outside the window it feels like you are grabbing a boob. If it is very fast, D cup. Slow, A cup.
Don't laugh at me. Next time you try it, you will fall in love.
Why is a chicken not a mammal?
If I have money, I will give it to the organization that helps dolphins, especially arrest all the Japanese.
You will br a good husband, like your dad. Your mom is very lucky. She is pretty though, so... That's an advantage.
For old people i think it is good they go gambling. Because they are going to die soon
Henanren are thieves. Maybe that is why people don't like me. But on the otyer hand, lots of people like me.
If I was a man, I woukd make her my wife
When I search for fish nets, all they give me is socks. Ebay is too stupid.
Shrimp is innocent. Give him a chance.
Pale white people are too white. Like paper. Pale asian people are like ivory.
Is nursing hard? Would I have to pick up a poops? I don't think I could do that.
In reaction to a children's picture bible:"what? They tell that to kids? Kids don't know anything. They will truly believe it." later said she things adults don't truly believe.
Saw the news article about Taras kid taking the downs syndrome girl to prom. Girl was wearing Doritos shirt. Tiru asked name of disease. I told her. She got very confused because she typed Doritos into translator thinking it was the disease name
30 45 35 33 53 a casino Nexr day 20 15 10 20. 0
Thought a buffalo was just a black cow
I hate arkansas. Arkansas is piece of shit. Is A piece of shit. And Oklahoma. Shiiiiit. -all sung while driving
oh baby. You are such a good husband. I feel like I found a piece of gold and I can take it home.
If we have a yard, I want to plant a bunch of strawberries and blueberry trees and apple trees and lemon trees and of course a lot of rose plants. "but blueberries grow on a bush" That's a tree
- Sah tah. Wait. Let me check the translation. Sah dan
I feel so much better I am not a black kid anymore It is tough to be a black kid when you are not really a black kid
Henenren steal well lids is a stereotype that yiru hates
Little mermaid is so sad. The prince is a bitch. Why he doesnvt like her
She was trying to tell me about that dyson sphere star. Said thay a planet was dimming.. Do you mean a star? No. A planet like like our sun. That's called a star. Like the moon? What? Stars are like the moon, right? No. Stars are the bright thing, planets go around stars. Moons go around planets.
I feel like i am a giant goat pooping out giant goat pooop
Got really happy when she saw the mississippi because it was so dirty and yellow. Said or remnded her of home.
Her gma ate eight egg every day.
Fame ular
Can you recommend a book like twilight no nutrition
She was happy about the canceling of the tpp because it was Japans evil plan. Hapan was looking for a sugar dad, and his sugar dad left him.
Einstein memory: he barked at two people carrying a sofa
I am religious too. I am a buddhism. I mean, I eat meat. But if I buy jewelry I prefer to buy buddhas. I think maybe I am Christian too.
I have to say, since when did you like music. -said while i was listening to ben folds write a song in 10 minutes
Saw Indian Creek Public Library and thought it was an indian food place
Dad: you know the man with the worst sense of direction? Yiru:Adam? Dad: No, Jeff. Me: Adam? Who's adam? Y: He ate an apple. Me:Oh. Direction as not following directions
Agricola movie? Planet of the apes.
She says I was more handsomewhen i was a baby, so muc so that i dont look similar. Peter on the other hand looks better now. When he was a baby he looked like a frog
Her dad built his factories close to his prents vilkage sobhe woukdnt have to mpve away. Every holiday he buys milk for all the old people. And he buys fireworks on new years. . Granpa was a scorpion trader. Sold them in the west
Wisdom from dad. Instead of worrying about people who owe you money, figure out hiw to make more moeny
I believe in egypt prjncess. Maybe he did magic but i dont believe where he come from
I feel like china is mans heaven womens hell. America is the opposite.
Fuck you to hell. Your god loves you there. Your real dad is waiting for you.
God put a snake in womens bodys
What the heck? Yes yes very heck
Thought the blond wigs judges wear are racist.
Oh my holy shit
Oh my god. That bird is a hitler. I mean satan. Satan is worse than hitler, right?
Okay, I love you sweetheart, I made about 80 wontons, if you want some I can make some for you
Twig -> tweengo
Do a deer a fenale deer Ray, a cup of tea!
Thought a towel was a pregnant fhost. "never buy dark yowel"
She thinks we should make dogs do the bad jobs like garbageman
Why dont you be a scientist instead of an economist?
Economics is like a vase pretty butvnot vwryvuseful
She likes laugh tracks because they tell her when to laugh
Beer is so good. I dont want to drink porridge anymore
She owes me a wish for taking her booger.
Franklin Peppers, the 14th president of the United States
In the countryside, we didn't have any toys so we had to play with real fire
The Nokia boat. God put the peopleand animals he liked on the boat. Jesus was stabbed in the balls and suffered.
It it was reliable then I would believe it. But the jesus thing is crap. Too many bugs.
I think God is a round ball.think about it. Everything in the world is a ball.
I just got my paycheck! starts dabbing repeatedly
Her father made a wish that her grandpa will live for 3 more years. The wish came true so now he has to go to the mountains to thank the buddha
I feel really bad for your ancestors. They have to eat cinnamon.
When asked fo rndom number between one and ten gives 12
Thinks the real god must be annoyed with jesus because jesus stole all his fans
Waldo is the guy from ring of the lord? Alfredo? Naruto?
Reffered to her bladder as her blaster. My blaster sint as big as yours
You are the cumin prince. Control of the cumin in the world
Upon seeing vampire bat face. "even god abandon them"
Says that pandas still want to eat to meat. Theyre just too dumb
White horn cow? Unihorn cow from africa?
Was convinced that obi wan cant die because then who teaches luke
Why is the princess hair like squeezed poop.
Yiru was very upset to learn the princess marries the crimjnal instead of the jedi master
Even chewbacca is more handsome than han
Han has small eyes
Artoo is very loyalty not like the bitch threepoli
Thinks Napoleon blew off the nose of the sphinx looking for treasure
Hair that looks like a thousand noodles. Dreadlocks
If a dog cant eat chicken bone it cant be called a dog. It can be called stupid
Poop turning a corner
My grandparents grow drugs What Opium Your grandparents grow opium? Only a few!
She scratched mu head in her sleep
Excitedly tell me how lungs work Micrometers myooms
Wow. Horse with wings. So beautiful. So magical
Does chewbahha have autism?
I was showing her imperial assault figures and she wondered why the bad guys dknt have as many heroic characyters. I showed her the storm troppers. And she they domtcount because they are shit
Trying to describe district nine: movie with a bunch of aliens that look like plastic. Ugly frogs. There is a robot. Its a comedy. two aliens fighting. Very old
Sees a rock. Is that a gorilla? Sees a gorilla. Is that a rectangle? (she meant orangutan)
Misremembered I Do as I will. "Theyre the same thing"
Hockey is like golf on ice.
I can see why the queen likes corgi. Because she is very short.
Yiru plays mario This is a historic day. I will finally find out what is at the end of the world.
Women are like dogs. When they ask for food from you, they go (cute noise)
Spiderman puts on iron spider suit. Is that deadpool?
Rocket racoon. Is that kung fu panda? The master
Is groot a cabbage?
Antler
Pregnancy is like you give me a topic i do all the reseaech and then you get to publish it with your name first
https://www.damninteresting.com/on-the-origin-of-circuits/
Natural person humanality
Confused casylevania and hotel transylvania
Thoughy movie was blurry but just wasnt wearing glasses
Sees apple in hogwartd table Why do they have a human fruit? They should be eating a wizard fruit. Why does hagrid get all the good stuff? See voldie sucking on the unicorn. Shit, a bear. A ghost Is it voldemort Why is he eating unicorn? Is he bored?
Thought snape was asian. Confused draco with macaulay culkin
Traps are too easy Glsses kid shouldnt see snitch Only these three notice stuff The adults are like useless doe sitting
She was very angry that theyvdidnt use the stone to bring nack his parents
If its love then anyone should be able to do it
Very interested in the story but doesnt want to see the kids growing old face. Why does harry go back to live with his aunt. Why cant he just go get a job. He can do... Anythign
Look no asians. Well it is england. Then why are there black people? Werent they slaves back then?
Shit you have magic. Put a magic camera there.
Thpught hagrid can come to school as a student and get his diploma.
Maybe if i eat enough snakes, god will forgive me. Like kill and eat 100000 snakes. Maybe it's a secret limit that god didnt tell us about.
I thought they put something on jesus balls to make him feel pain
Wants a death note because of her bitchy customers. I say you shoukd be like buddha. So spit in their food?
Yeah Im a christian. Jesus says punish rude people to make the world a better place. Turn the other cheeck. Then why did he destory the temple.
I thought that all dogs have balls.
Sees a message saying Happy Easter! He is risen! Who is risen Jesus Oh. I thought you dad maybe got a higher position.
Money is the most important thing. Money equals food Food equals love Love equals xoxo
I said it is interesting how euro dragon is evil fire monster but chinese dragon is a water... "Chinese dragon is a slut." "He has nine kids all look different." "It's not me saying this it's the ancients."
She repeatedly talks about how she believes there must be a creator and is really interested in the books Tara sends... until she see's they're talking about Jesus. She seems to think his ideology of radical forgiveness is repulsive and anti-social.
She was talking about squares and rectangles, but she called the rectangles "squares" and the squares "true squares"
Yiru's grandpa had a strange life:
- Times were rough when he was born, so his parents cut off his small toe. The ghost god only wants full bodies, you see.
- He sold scorpions. Captured a big burlap sack full of them and rode on the train across the country to sell them as traditional medicine. Once he was stopped because his bag of dead scorpions reaked, so he popped one in his mouth right there to prove they weren't dangerous.
- To get started in the petrol business, he snuckn into people's factory to see how they do things. They don't want grandpa in the factory anymore, so Grandpa pretends hes a buyer.
Q: I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I? A: Penis?
Q: In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink!What color were the stairs? A: I misunderstand. Can you read again. ... No stairs. Really? One storey? what do you mean?
Q: What has hands but can not clap? A: Octopus... Buddha statue
Q: A house has 4 walls. All of the walls are facing south, and a bear is circling the house. What color is the bear? A: All the... Ayo. White. This is easy.
Q: What is at the end of a rainbow? A: Cloud... W! I got it!
Q: What starts with the letter “t”, is filled with “t” and ends in “t”? A: t-e-a-t
Q: A girl is sitting in a house at night that has no lights on at all. There is no lamp, no candle, nothing. Yet she is reading. How? A: She's blind!
Q: You walk into a room with a match, a karosene lamp, a candle, and a fireplace. Which do you light first? A: -Confused about words then mimmediately got i.t.
Q: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? A: sponge
Q: You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer? A: You put it in the water.
"What word starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it." Guessed eye before i even finished.
What happens once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years? Light.
ou can see me in water, but I never get wet. What am I? Duck.
What can run but never walks Has a mouth but never talks, A head but never weeps, And a bed but never sleeps? -crab! Never walks. Always running. Has a mouth but never talks. Never sleeps in his bed. Homeless.
Man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender then shoots the ceiling with a gun. The man says thank you, and walks out. Why did he want the water? I dont know this. We don't have this culture.
Ripped from my mother's womb, beaten and burned, I become a killer. What am I? Shark! Knife or sword.
donzi dazi train riddle