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Toddler_strength_index.txt
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Toddler_strength_index.txt
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#Title
Doug vs the world: How many toddlers could I theoretically take at once in a open field fist fight?
# Author
Doug The Thug
Slav McMoneyBags
#Introduction
Hello, my name is Dougal and I am going to detail my theoretical argument as to
how many toddlers I could fight at a single moment in an empty field.
My calculations are based on the previous works of Hugh Jaynus (Jaynus et al., 2020.
I supplement Jaynus' work with that of Stone Cold Steve Austin, a founding father
in awesome fighting techniques (Austin 1995).
My go to finishing move is a Booker T inspired scissor kick, however I am also
a fan of Edge's Spear move (historically Rhyno's), though I wish to avoid voluntarily
dropping myself onto the ground to avoid a pile-up scenario.
#Simulations
How do I simulate fighting a toddler without actually fighting a toddler?
This would require some further research as my simulations are not realistic enough.
#Methodology
Initially I started out by conducting tests on items of similar weights to that of
the average toddler, and built my way up from their using some base assumptions about
their levels of strength, ability, stamina, etc.
All toddlers are assumed to have a full amount of energy, however exert energy when
attempting to do actions.
#Results
I reckon I could easily take up to 80 toddlers in a single fight.
#Figures
*bad drawing of me drop-kicking a toddler.
#Conclusions
I am the greatest. I shall re-evaluate my progress in 3 weeks time to ascertain if
I can take on even more toddlers in a fight.