questions.html

<p><p>Think of a moment when you were really annoyed with your partner.</p><p>Use the form set out below the exercise to write it down, or just give your partner an example by following 4 steps:</p><p>observation, feelings, need and request.</p><p><strong>OBSERVATION</strong>: Describe what happened at the moment you were annoyed. Use words like ‘ what I see, notice, hear, observe, etc</p><p>For example: What I observe is that you are on your phone the whole time when I am talking to you.</p><p><strong>FEELINGS</strong>: Describe how you felt about it?</p>
    <p>For example: I felt neglected.</p><p><strong>NEEDS</strong>: Tell your partner what your needs are in this particular case.</p><p>For example: I want to be heard.</p><p><strong>REQUEST</strong>: what is it that you want from him or her and ask this.</p><p>For example: Can you please put the phone aside when we have a conversation?</p><p>Summarize what it is you want to say to your partner without judging him or her. In our example this could go
    something like, “When I see you busy with your phone whilst I’m telling you a story, I feel neglected, I want to be
    heard. Are you willing to put the phone aside whilst we have a conversation?”</p><p>Over the coming days you can experience what happens when you try addressing your partner using the language of compassion.</p><p>When your partner says something to you that you didn’t like hearing, try to also follow the four steps.</p></p>