On becoming a Dad

[heyitsaamir]

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excerpt: 'Fears and excitements on becoming a father in a few months 😬'
date: '2022-12-27T12:15:00-0800Z'

I'm going to be a dad in a few months. It's scary and exciting at the same time. When we found out (in July), it was definitely far more scary than exciting. But I think the ratio has settled out a bit and we are running a relatively even dose of both right now.

Bushra has been dealing with a myriad of physical changes (from nausea in her first trimester, to discomfort sleeping, and then ofcourse now, something inside her kicking her softly as a gentle but constant reminder). I have the luxury of not having that so I am reminded of this big life changing event happening through other means:

1. Stroller shopping - do you know how many different types of strollers there are? Each company has its own twist on this piece of equipment trying to differentiate itself from the competition in some minute way. I wish there was just one choice.
2. Reading books - I enjoy diving into new projects and this project is going to be a long one. I've started reading books on parenting ([[How to Raise an Adult]]) and sleep ([[Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child]]). I'm fully aware that I'll mostly forget lessons from these books when we're in the midst of the chaos, but I like to think that I may retain some general view on these topics.
3. Setting up the nursery - this has been mostly Bushra since organization is her forte, and she really likes doing it, but I've been providing ideas and helping with building the crib or painting too

These tasks have been getting me excited to meet the baby. But there are definitely quite a few things that make me nervous.

1. I've never even had a pet. How am I going to keep this thing alive and well?
2. The way that I am, and the ideas that I have of the world, are they okay to be transmitted and taught to someone else? I know each kid is their own person, but the baseline starts from their parents and the upbringing at home.
3. Money - Shit everything costs so damn much. And Bushra may take a leave of absence from work for a year. Money will be tight....
4. Free time - I'm excited to play and raise this baby, but selfishly, I'm scared at what is going to happen to my passions and interests. Are those all going to be forgotten?
5. Marriage - Bushra and I have been with each other for a long time, and we are both the most important people in each other's lives. I don't know how the introduction of this third person in our family is going to change our dynamic.

I know our lives will change after March, but I'm optimistic that even with the chaos, it'll be for the better.

• I'm optimistic that it will make me a better human, with the added consequence that my actions will be examples to the child
• I'm optimistic that it will improve our marriage because we are going to need to work together as a team to do this whole parenting thing
• I'm optimistic that we'll be okay. The world does this on a daily basis. I just hope we can do a reasonably good job 🤞🏼