shakespeareanInsulter.R

#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# If you would like to be insulted every time you start up R, feel free to put this # 
# in your Rprofile.site file. The lists can be found in various places on the web,  #
# e.g. http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/                                       #
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------#


shakesInsult = function(){
  w1 = c('artless','bawdy','beslubbering','bootless','churlish','cockered','clouted','craven','currish','dankish','dissembling','droning','errant','fawning','fobbing','froward','frothy','gleeking','goatish','gorbellied','impertinent','infectious','jarring','loggerheaded','lumpish','mammering','mangled','mewling','paunchy','pribbling','puking','puny','qualling','rank','reeky','roguish','ruttish','saucy','spleeny','spongy','surly','tottering','unmuzzled','vain','venomed','villainous','warped','wayward','weedy','yeasty')
  
  w2 = c('base-court','bat-fowling','beef-witted','beetle-headed','boil-brained','clapper-clawed','clay-brained','common-kissing','crook-pated','dismal-dreaming','dizzy-eyed','doghearted','dread-bolted','earth-vexing','elf-skinned','fat-kidneyed','fen-sucked','flap-mouthed','fly-bitten','folly-fallen','fool-born','full-gorged','guts-griping','half-faced','hasty-witted','hedge-born','hell-hated','idle-headed','ill-breeding','ill-nurtured','knotty-pated','milk-livered','motley-minded','onion-eyed','plume-plucked','pottle-deep','pox-marked','reeling-ripe','rough-hewn','rude-growing','rump-fed','shard-borne','sheep-biting','spur-galled','swag-bellied','tardy-gaited','tickle-brained','toad-spotted','unchin-snouted','weather-bitten')
  
  w3 = c('apple-john','baggage','barnacle','bladder','boar-pig','bugbear','bum-bailey','canker-blossom','clack-dish','clotpole','coxcomb','codpiece','death-token','dewberry','flap-dragon','flax-wench','flirt-gill','foot-licker','fustilarian','giglet','gudgeon','haggard','harpy','hedge-pig','horn-beast','hugger-mugger','joithead','lewdster','lout','maggot-pie','malt-worm','mammet','measle','minnow','miscreant','moldwarp','mumble-news','nut-hook','pigeon-egg','pignut','puttock','pumpion','ratsbane','scut','skainsmate','strumpet','varlot','vassal','whey-face','wagtail')
  
  return( paste( 'Thou', sample(w1, 1), sample(w2, 1), sample(w3, 1),collapse=" "))
}

cat('Your Shakespearean insult for the day is...', shakesInsult(),"\n")

#
#  alternatively, use the cowsay package, to let various animals insult you!
#
require(cowsay)
say(what = shakesInsult(),by="random")