2012-04-30 - Zaat.txt

Apr 30, 2012
Zaat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFkkVhiR1Yo
https://twitter.com/redlettermedia/status/197177771456335872
https://www.facebook.com/redlettermedia/posts/232756136825300
https://www.redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag/half-in-the-bag-zaat

Half in the bag.
Who wants to watch these frauds talk about movies?
hey one out and I got some food would
you like any no I'm not hungry
no me neither
uhh what time is it what day is it
it's Tuesday holy shit you know it's
been like five days since Plunkett left
saying he was gonna go figure some
things out should we alert the
authorities alert the authorities why
squatting here has been the best few
days of my whole life this place is a
palace compared to my apartment yeah you
know we've gotten away with a lot here
over the last year yeah in fact just
yesterday I used plain cats sewer to
make bathtub gin I drilled a glory hole
and Clank his bathroom it turned Clank
its lawn mower into a ride for
neighborhood children there was some
unfortunate accidents I watched
meatballs part two six times in a row
yesterday oh yeah I forgot to mention I
sold blankets back yard to the local
graveyard I don't know if you've noticed
or not I think I tripped over a couple
mounds back there I thought it was go
first no it was dead children you know
with all these activities going on I
haven't even any time to see movies
lately yeah that's right well there's
that many movies that are out that are
good Hey what look what I found
what's that oh it's that oh hey you
found my missing cheeseburger
Oh Mona I forgot you're I'm smoking hmm
I thought you said you weren't hungry oh
you're right I'm not
and now coming to this theater one of
the most incredible stories of modern
time that invasion of the walking
catfish
a crazed scientist dr. Leopold is
convinced he can turn humans into fish
he proves it by transforming himself
into a horrible revengeful fish
so this is that and that is one of our
favorite bad funny bad movies yes we
found that at the Chicago Comic Con it
may come as a surprise to some of you
but there's bootleggers that these Comic
Cons yeah and as you can see the cover
was intriguing yes especially the
artwork on the back originally the DVD
was just a burned DVD R and we added the
title on here but that wasn't even on
there initially I wrote that on there it
was released on laserdisc which is what
this is a transfer of right because it
has the the special features afterwards
where it's all just one thing that keeps
playing and yes so we watched it and and
it became an instant favorite
no one sat well what's the story behind
that Jay zan is a movie that was made in
1971 by a company called Barton films
which was primarily a company that did a
lot of commercials and like industrial
films and it shows and it shows and they
still do to this day apparently but that
is the only feature they ever made it's
a company in Jacksonville Florida and it
definitely has that feel of a movie like
like a Don Dahler movie like we talked
about galaxy invader
just feels like a small band of local
people got together and put on a show it
also feels like a company that makes
industrial films decided to make a
creature feature movie yeah the movie
opens with a lot of stock footage of
animals underwater sea creatures lots an
inspiration but the movie is about a mad
scientist of sorts that stumbles around
moping for like the first 20 minutes of
the movie I wanted to I wanted to shut
it off within the first 10 minutes
Zaid is very methodical the movie is
very methodical and and dull and and
that adds the charm later on yes because
it becomes like this action movie kind
of it's like dun dun dun da the
creatures coming in and all the stuff
but it's shot like like a educational
film or something secure the electrodes
to the denticulate adore shion's of the
pictorial spying the this The Clash of
the style and the substance starts to
work towards its advantage later on yeah
the first 20 minutes or so it's it's
really dull and really dry so you have
to get past that yeah until we see the
set
the scientist was trying to do an
experiment where he creates a race of
people that can live underwater
that's the backstory I think I think and
no one liked this idea
everyone rejected poor zaps idea and so
he went crazy and did all the
experiments on himself and turned into a
giant catfish monster so in order to do
that he he squirts this red liquid into
a tank and then takes off his clothes
and he was wearing two pairs of
underwear for some reason maybe two
maybe two shields his genitals from the
liquid it's possible but then he gets on
to one of those those Gurney's that
helicopter rescue people have for some
reason he has to lay down in that yeah
and then pull himself in to the water by
himself he doesn't have an assistant
yeah well that is that's a lonely a
lonely social and guy that's what's a
very stout yeah he's very emo he's got
the hair he's got the emo hair it's very
sad um but he lowers himself into the
water and of course turns and does that
after that and it's the greatest costume
the greatest monster in cinematic
history and now another big challenge
for you it's our suspicions that the
Greedo costume and Star Wars was modeled
and I think George Lucas is familiar
with zette
nothing at all like the catfish but it's
beautiful there's a plan by the
scientist who may or may not be a former
Nazi there's one mention in the movie of
him being a Nazi oh just offhand and it
said out of nowhere yeah but but he has
a quasi plan
yeah his plan initially is to walk
around a lot and then his plan is to
climb into the local lake and spray a
squirt bottle around in the water that
contains the red liquid apparently even
though none of this is explained you
kind of have to figure out what's going
on on you know just on the images alone
it's like a David Lynch film it's like a
David Lynch from it but but that does
have a a wheel a chronological wheel
like a Mayan calendar wheel yeah on the
wall that he made with markers and
crayons is that it's fine to turn the
entire state of Florida after he sprays
the squirt bottle into a small lake he
goes home and he crosses out Florida
well every time he goes back to his his
lab it's like the same four shots yeah
every single time so it starts with him
walking through the basement and then
there's a shot of him walking up the
stairs and then him walking into the lab
the same shot it's the same three shots
over and over every time they're
establishing this there's also an
additional part of schatz plan which is
to kill the two guys that didn't believe
in his plan yeah
but then Zack goes into one of their
homes while he's preparing his fishing
reel and and that grabs his head and he
dies from that
and also he wants to find love
I guess that's that's the third element
the third element that wants to find a
lady ladies ad well is it is it that
though it what it wasn't part of his
original plan he added it to the plan
because he draws the picture of the girl
this is this is what happened so that is
back in the lake and he's squirting the
squirt bottle around and it runs out of
the red liquid but when he runs out of
the liquid he Peaks above the water and
he sees the sexy lady hanging close up
on the clothesline or gazing she's
painting a picture of her car she I
think she lives out of her car but that
Zef falls in love yes that's like man he
says well shit now I'm a catfish man I
ain't gonna NAB this broad as a catfish
man yeah so he he kidnaps her to turn
her into his zet lady but it doesn't go
according to plan no no
but he takes her body and he dissolves
it in liquids and turns her into bones
yeah and this is our protagonist yeah I
think I really I think our protagonist
is the well it's the local sheriff and
his black son yeah well I seen that
college education of yours does much
good so far
walking fish wasn't part of the
curriculum
it's really odd because the sheriff I
don't know I guess people seize that
right yes people are calling because
their scenes at and it's the typical
movie sheriff or he doesn't believe that
what anyone's telling him that's too
far-fetched that kind of stuff but then
but then later on in the end of the film
he reveals that there is indeed a mad
scientist that lives in the town who
wants to turn himself into a walking
catfish yeah
he suddenly makes that connection that
maybe this is what people are talking
about what's the matter Lou uh human
fish sounds like something moved up Leah
pool mic track is that for real Lou yeah
there was a rumor going around that he
was trying to to what turn a man into a
fake dam Lou why don't you tell us
sooner Lana I never thought of it till
just in a second oh you got to talk
about your favorite scene in the movie
oh my god that shows up on the shore and
I think he gets stabbed or shot he gets
injured yeah and so that needs to go to
the pharmacy
it's one of the best scenes in I would
say in motion picture history it's it's
30 seconds of pure cinematic bliss yeah
so we have to talk about the hippie
scene oh this is the this is a very very
70s scene yes it comes out of nowhere
oh well people told me I should follow
the followed Hammond in Apollo to you
the entire town is fled because of the
zap monster except for a small little
house of hippies mmm
that for some reason if stuck around and
decided to play music all night
yeah and then the sheriff shows up yeah
it's one of those scenes where it's not
funny bad it's sort of baffling like
what what's happening why is this here
like like you start to like look beyond
the film and think about like the making
it and stuff is because it's like are
they like on acid for real yeah they
just decided to film this and then and
then you know it's like the sheriff
comes in and he's like he's nodding
along and the beats wrong that he's
nodding to and then the next scene they
cut to is the him like leading them down
the street and there's a guy playing
flute yeah Piper's and then yeah you
start to think oh it's the Pied Piper
you know you know assuring the rats out
of the city are they doing a thing like
that yeah and then he really he leads
them into the jail locks them in the
jail so that they'll be safe from Zac
they trying to say something the point
is we never see these hippies again we
never see them again never saw them
before this yeah and it's like they're
trying to say something about society
man I think that one of the the people
that was involved with the film knew
somebody that could play guitar so they
wanted to put a scene in the movie where
a guy plays the guitar that's the most
logically
I'm fine shut up zoom not you're talking
about at this point the movie is off the
rails
yes skidded off the road into the into a
ditch and there's no point to anything
that's plan it doesn't matter but that
does focus on one thing and it's finding
a second lady - yes - apparently have
catfish sex with later yeah but no the
first time it failed because he hasn't
really done any sort of tests to try and
make it different the second time he's
decides he's going to try it again like
yes if I was that I would I would scoop
up the old lady on the bicycle you know
the the porker down the street the fat
lady and I would test it on them first
sure sure and say oh you know I got I
got up the zet liquid a little you know
to make the lady stern and does that
yeah and then take the hot chicks and
put them in the pool so then the rest of
the movie is long stretches of the local
cops trying to get zat's
right he kidnapping so he kidnaps the
lady
so they're on the hunt for Zach yes um
this is the epic climax of the movie
yeah which takes 45 minutes it's half
the movie yeah so the guy is riding
around on the on the Jeep he's hanging
outside the Jeep the sheriff and his
black son are driving Jeep for whatever
reason he can't sit comfortably in that
maybe it's cuz there's a black man in
the car shit yo Billy dick damn reader
lower he finds a little dune buggy thing
it's a little watercraft
yeah it's one of those things that can
go on land or in the water it's not his
it comes out of nowhere he just gets in
it and starts riding it yeah it drives
it into the water and then it starts
going one mile an hour
yeah the buggy thing is one of those
things again like the hippie scene where
they probably knew someone that could
play guitar and they knew somebody that
owned one of those the directors brother
had one of those so they were like we
got to put this in the movie check that
out William and so they show up at dad's
house the African Floridian goes inside
he finds nothing inside but the sheriff
remains outside and then gets into an
awkward fight scene with dad
the inside they find the girl and that's
that's really one of the best fight
scenes
you know things happen ins at zap shows
up he walks around a lot that hit
somebody and then the movie ends and and
you're like who was I supposed to care
about what was happening what was the
ultimate goal the goal is that the goal
is the costume yeah that's the reason
the movie was made us for the costume
yeah the costume is is amazing it has no
articulation whatsoever in the face yeah
and I would gather that the actor
wearing it couldn't see in the costume
because there's lots of takes that they
kept in the movie of him tripping on
everything
not only is he constantly tripping on
things and they keep it in the movie
they hold on shots of him for extended
periods of time just long stretches of
zat walk-in well sort of like they say
like zet the scene is that goes through
town you know that walks through town
and instead of setting it up and all
these like clever camera angles and
editing it quickly like you know that
shadow goes by and he walked there's
like literal interpretation of the
script that walks into town yeah
and then there's a light on the car
that's moving along with the camera
which is filming them and it's a literal
interpretation yeah Crypt yeah and and
that's that's a lot of the charm in the
movie it's like the complete and total
lack of like the film language well you
can tell was done by a company that does
industrial films because it's we need
wide shots of our facilities so you film
it you pan across there their warehouse
or whatever just replace that with a
catfish monster so it was kind of
amazing because zat was recently
released on blu-ray it's it's odd timing
that we just discovered it and then
shortly after it was released on the
blu-ray so yeah this is the bootleg copy
we had the new release similar cover
looks like this not as exciting of a
background as the bootleg though the the
unfortunate thing about the new release
is that it has the proper aspect ratio
the the laserdisc transfer that we
watched originally was apparently the
movie of shot open man where it's shot
where there's certain areas of the film
that are exposed that aren't meant to be
seen in the final projected version
similar to pee-wee's big adventure
there's a part in that where he's
pulling the chain out of the bike and on
the VHS release you could see the chain
underneath coming through the bike right
yeah or you would see boom mics or you
see boom I guess yeah I remember I
watched the film in the theater I
watched um the Patriot with Mel Gibson
oh and they didn't have the mat on em
the whole time the projection has forgot
to put it on oh and the whole movie had
a boom mic constantly in the front but
there but there are parts of that that
are really charming in the the laserdisc
transfer version like the fact that
apparently the guy in the Zac costume
just wanted to be comfy most of the time
yeah so he was wearing tennis shoes and
there's there's a couple of parts in the
movie where you see him in the Zach
costume in tennis shoes
I think with zat it's not up there in
the top movies of so bad it's funny it's
it's up there in the top movies of your
constantly shouting questions at the
screen yes again what the fuck is
happening what is this person doing I
think we yelled more questions at the
movie you know for any other movie that
probably yeah the only one that may have
more questions shouted at would probably
be things yes and things is a movie that
we may have to bring up at some points
in the future yeah I'd rather not talk
about things that's why we should oh oh
is that plank it's phone that's ringing
is this phone ringing I will go answer
it
okay hello thank you that was mr.
Plunkett he says he's on his way here
he's gonna be here in five minutes what
uh quickly um barricade the door so he
can stall him while we clean this place
up good idea let's go
holy shit I just thought of something
what's that I think we may have made
things worse oh I know I realized that
before we even started uh should we just
sneak out the back door
shit yeah let's get out of here all
right