After making multiple bad decisions in her life (stopping to swim after her dad died, bailing out on marriage for fear of kids and recent mom death, bailing out of a band because of her anxiety which spoiled her relationship with her brother, etc.,), Nora commits suicide. She ends up in the midnight library (presumably a mental construct) where she gets a chance to experience every other life she could possibly have had if she made different decisions. Through experience, she realizes that the decisions were not bad after all-- she was swimming to impress her father, marrying because Dan wants to, working in the band for her brother. What does she really want in life? She realizes that love and kindness are strong emotions which can be used to derive meaning admist suffering. And that anxiety and fear are a part of experience in every life; and they're not one to be avoided.
This book is one of my favorites of the year. This brings home the point that, if we're unsatisfied in our life, we will likely be unsatisfied in an alterative life where we have all the things that we desire here (if we have the same mindset). Either because we build new desires, or because fulfilling these desire comes at a cost.
The books also cover the idea that a small decision we take completely change the trajectory of our lives. This makes me wonder about the other lifes I could be living.
Key actions / instances:
- Nishant telling me about Blake
- Going to physics tuitions with Varma sir
- That lucky mistake in my 7th class that made the top math in a unit test.
- Getting an admit to McGill.
- Not finding my life partner
- I didn't get into an accident when I was driving above speed limit.
If one of these things had not happen (or happened differently), I would have been living a very different life right now. If I hasn't luckly topped that math test, I don't think I would have made it well in life. It gave me the confidence (speciically, self efficacy) to take of bigger challenges and push harder beliving in myself. How would my life have been if this hadn't happened?
I would have probably not done well in school, barely making it through 10th grade. Inter would have been torture because of the long hours it takes for something that I'm not interested in. I would have barely passed again, and wouldn't have found a good job. I would have spend a lot of time at home with my parents, looking for a job, making mediocre friends with no dream, and would have just been drudging through life. I would have been a burden to my parents. I would have been struggling to find a good partner. I would have taken up a menial job that sucks the life out of me. I would never have read books, and live a miserable life.
Why am I pondering about this? Because it makes me feel much more grateful for the life that I'm having right now. In my alternative life, I would have considered my prayers answered if I were able to live this kind of life.