I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man.
He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish
gleam in his eyes, ready to beardsplain with extreme precision.
“Actually”, he says with a grin, “Linux is just the kernel. You use
GNU+Linux!’ I don’t miss a beat and reply with a smirk, “I use
Alpine, a distro that doesn’t include the GNU coreutils, or any
other GNU code. It’s Linux, but it’s not GNU+Linux.”

The smile quickly drops from the man’s face. His body begins
convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a
sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams “I-IT WAS COMPILED
WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT’S STILL GNU!” Coolly, I reply “If windows
was compiled with gcc, would that make it GNU?” I interrupt his
response with “-and work is being made on the kernel to make it
more compiler-agnostic. Even you were correct, you won’t be for
long.”

With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man’s life is ejected from
his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I’ve womansplained
Mr. Stallman to death.