Backport #16980 #17031 #17018 #17019 to 1.6 branch (#17213)

Fix CUDNN detection for CMake build (#17019)

Replace mxnet_option macro with standard CMAKE_DEPENDENT_OPTION (#17018)

Switch to modern CMake CUDA handling (#17031)

Introduce unified MXNET_CUDA_ARCH option to specify cuda architectures.
Previously cuda architecture setting was partially broken and different options
were applied to different parts of the build (CUDA_ARCH_NAME CUDA_ARCH_BIN
CUDA_ARCH_PTX and CUDA_ARCH_LIST).

Include FindCUDAToolkit from CMake 3.17, which replaces the deprecated FindCUDA
functionality for finding the cuda toolkit include directories and libraries.

Workaround for DLL size limitation on Windows (#16980)

* change windows build system.
add gen_warp cpp version
add add_custom_command to run warp_gen
add download cmake
add option
change option
add dynamic read mxnet dll

Co-authored-by: Leonard Lausen <leonard@lausen.nl>