release-23.2.0-rc: storage: disable crashing for single delete callbacks

[jbowens]

Backport to 23.2.0-rc of #116889.

---

As elaborated in code comments, these can be false positives caused by delete-only compactions. The metrics are not disabled, under the rare chance that we see a problem in a cluster and one of the metrics (if it happens to not be a false positive) gives us a hint about the cause of the problem. For the same reason, we log such callbacks every 5 minutes, so we can correlate the key in such logs with an actual problem. False positives should be rare, especially for the invariant violation callback.

Informs #115881 Informs #114421

Epic: none

Release note (ops change): The cluster settings
storage.single_delete.crash_on_invariant_violation.enabled and storage.single_delete.crash_on_ineffectual.enabled are disabled and must not be enabled.
Release justification: Removes flawed assertion that could crash nodes.

[blathers-crl]

Thanks for opening a backport.

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[blathers-crl]

It looks like your PR touches production code but doesn't add or edit any test code. Did you consider adding tests to your PR?

_{🦉 Hoot! I am a Blathers, a bot for CockroachDB. My owner is dev-inf.}

[cockroach-teamcity]

This change is 

[itsbilal]

LGTM

[sumeerbhola]

Reviewable status: complete! 1 of 0 LGTMs obtained (waiting on @nvanbenschoten and @RaduBerinde)