QUIC hot restart part 6 - child instance pauses listening until parent is drained (second try) #32664
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Commit Message: QUIC hot restart part 6 - child instance pauses listening until parent is drained (second try)
Additional Description: This is a redo of #31130 which was reverted in #32658. For ease of review, pushed as two commits, the revert that duplicates the original PR, and the small fix with a mutex. (I mistakenly thought the listeners were created on the main thread, but apparently they are created on the worker threads.)
Risk Level: A little, for quic with hot restart.
Testing:
Passes after the fix, fails 5 of 50 with a pointer error before the fix.
Docs Changes: n/a
Release Notes: n/a
Platform Specific Features: n/a