tests: use Detox as compile reference, ignore UIManager queues

[mikehardy]

Description

Still working on de-flaking Android E2E

Even with the tap stream delayed, the extra logging from the previous merge showed the React Native UIManager's dispatch queues are sometimes permanently non-empty, blocking Detox from signalling it is ready on the app/detox-testee side.

This commit switches Detox to a compile dependency (from AAR) so we can patch-package it, then I hack out the UIManager espresso idle resource waiter completely.

This would potentially be a disaster in normal apps, but for our testing app is inconsequential since we perform no UI activities (and thus they should never block)

Related issues

#4058

Release Summary

Checklist

• I read the Contributor Guide and followed the process outlined there for submitting PRs.
  • Yes
• My change supports the following platforms;
  • Android
  • iOS
• My change includes tests;
  • e2e tests added or updated in packages/\*\*/e2e
  • jest tests added or updated in packages/\*\*/__tests__
• I have updated TypeScript types that are affected by my change.
• This is a breaking change;
  • Yes
  • No

Test Plan

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[mikehardy]

This should be most of the systemic Android E2E flakiness, the rest will likely be per-test stuff but I think that's pretty solid right now.

iOS still flakes but not nearly as much, I'll probably leave it sit for now except for perhaps a PR to increase logging for diagnostics to already be available when/if needed

[mikehardy]

I've been re-running this over and over on the PR against my own fork and this PR and have about 10 runs in now with no failures. I know of at least 2 other failure modes so it won't be 100% but already this is an improvement, definitely worth a merge for now