notes:
- this is hosted on a digitalocean server and run via cron every minute
- warnings are suppressed because apparently i was using something deprecated, and fixing that was not a priority
- this code is super time inefficient. there's more than one function
that works basically by going through each email and asking, "is this
[some quality that only applied to a small percentage of emails]?"
- i could fix this by preprocessing a lot more, but
- getting it working at all was a higher priority
- that would be space inefficient (bc i'd probably use hella
hashtables)
- though it would probably still be worth it, esp cause my space isn't limited
- i could fix this by preprocessing a lot more, but
- learned a lot! =D