fix cluster test for disconnect with open connections #1953
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fix #1933
replaces #1934
passed all tests except arm7 and raspberry pi 1 and 2, they are still ongoing
@Olegas @trevnorris PTAL
note that I think there are ALSO bugs in cluster message passing... this test attempts to evade them by waiting for the socket to be definitively open... by waiting for data from the worker/server