DM: Fix some unstable tests (#5507)

[ti-chi-bot]

This is an automated cherry-pick of #5507

What problem does this PR solve?

Issue Number:
close #5488
close #5489
close #5490

What is changed and how it works?

1. change the check statement to be a compatible statement for IT shardddl2/DM-040 optimistic.
2. wait sync ddl finish for IT shardddl4_1/DM-155 optimistic.
3. add query-status to wait load finish for IT full_mode/main run.

Check List

Tests

• Integration test

Release note

None

[ti-chi-bot]

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[ti-chi-bot]

@ti-chi-bot: This cherry pick PR is for a release branch and has not yet been approved by release team.
Adding the do-not-merge/cherry-pick-not-approved label.

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[codecov-commenter]

Codecov Report

❗ No coverage uploaded for pull request base (release-6.0@2f363f6). Click here to learn what that means.
The diff coverage is n/a.

Flag	Coverage Δ
cdc	61.0236% <0.0000%> (?)
dm	51.8292% <0.0000%> (?)

Flags with carried forward coverage won't be shown. Click here to find out more.

@@               Coverage Diff                @@
##             release-6.0      #5934   +/-   ##
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  Hits                   ?      37405           
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[WizardXiao]

/run-all-tests

[lance6716]

no need to maintain v6.0