[Feature]: Cleanup NIXLConnector Connections When Nodes Spin Down

[robertgshaw2-redhat]

🚀 The feature, motivation and pitch

In a k8s setup, we will often increase and decrease the number of nodes running a service

With NIXLConnector, we currently support adding new instances dynamically via async handshaking, which supports the scale-up case.

However, with NIXLConnector, we currently lack support and testing for cleaning up connections when an instance spins down or fails.

There are a few things that need to happen:

• A) support disconnecting from clean shutdown
• B) support preventing the D instance from crashing when the P instance fails during a request

Alternatives

No response

Additional context

No response

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[chaunceyjiang]

Our company has been researching and using NIXLConnector these past few days, so this issue is a good fit for us to look into.

Please assign it to me.

[github-actions]

This issue has been automatically marked as stale because it has not had any activity within 90 days. It will be automatically closed if no further activity occurs within 30 days. Leave a comment if you feel this issue should remain open. Thank you!