util: avoid column allocator reuse the column hold huge memory (#32554)

[ti-srebot]

cherry-pick #32554 to release-5.4
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# In tidb repo:
git pr https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/32578

After apply modifications, you can push your change to this PR via:

git push git@github.com:ti-srebot/tidb.git pr/32578:release-5.4-cce1ebdebb16

---

What problem does this PR solve?

Issue Number: close #31981
close #30880

Problem Summary:
Chunk-rpc will use rpc message to construct chunk directly, which will hold the whole memory.
We should release them after the sql finished.

What is changed and how it works?

Check List

Tests

• Unit test
• Integration test
• Manual test (add detailed scripts or steps below)
• No code

Side effects

• Performance regression: Consumes more CPU
• Performance regression: Consumes more Memory
• Breaking backward compatibility

Documentation

• Affects user behaviors
• Contains syntax changes
• Contains variable changes
• Contains experimental features
• Changes MySQL compatibility

Release note

Fix the problem of tidb oom when exporting data using chunk rpc

[ti-chi-bot]

[REVIEW NOTIFICATION]

This pull request has been approved by:

• XuHuaiyu
• tiancaiamao

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[ti-srebot]

/run-all-tests

[ti-srebot]

@wshwsh12 you're already a collaborator in bot's repo.

[wshwsh12]

/merge

[ti-chi-bot]

This pull request has been accepted and is ready to merge.

Commit hash: 3854bb8

[ti-chi-bot]

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[sre-bot]

Code Coverage Details: https://codecov.io/github/pingcap/tidb/commit/3d3cdac7eab8ec19dff3c6645c3fa9a3f174fc65

[wshwsh12]

/run-mysql-test
/run-unit-test